oh my god. today i totally screwed, messed, made a whole bunch of shit outa myself. i really made her mad this time. why can't i just act like a girl? properly. today just after english class. my usual insanity got the better of me. i started going crazy. i didn't know what the hell i was doing. i just suddenly walked up to wenjing's table, grabbed her pencil case and started tossing it. beats me. then it hit the ceiling and fell flat on the floor. i dont know what happened after that but i just picked it up and repeated, i'm so dumb. then she got real pissed and grabbed MY pencil case. she threw it up but it didnt touch the ceiling. then it fell flat on the floor, just like hers. but i didnt really care. then i didnt return wenjing's pencil case to her but i kept playing with it. then wenjing took a few pens out of my pencil case and threatened to throw them away. i wasn't the least scared. then when i refused to return wenjing her pencil case, she hit my arm. didnt hurt. then as revenge, i hit her back, almost twice as hard on her back. then she shot me a look. THE look. i knew i was done for. was totally jammed up.
friends are friends. friendship will last unless you do something to trigger it.
what is wrong with me? why can't i just be like everyone else? why can't i just be a normal, delicate, politer, respectful GIRL?? why can't i just BE one? is it that hard? well, every time i try to act polite and all, 2 seconds later im back to my insane self. now i even hurt my best friend's feelings. oh. shit. how great. when ever i try to apologize, i get all jammed up in my mouth and all that comes out are hems and haws. and wenjing looks as though she were going to cry. oh no. i really got it this time. shiat! but now, this is the least i could do. cuz as you know, im not good with words. so, wenjing:
i'm so sorry. will you forgive me?
can we just forget everything?
please..
i really regret what i have done.
i'm really sorry this time.
sorry. so so so sorry :(
hey. i'm really really sorry. really really.